Lesbian Strap-On Dildos: The Ultimate Guide (& Best Sex Positions)

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Strap-ons are a popular category of sex toys, both for heterosexual and homosexual couples. They’re a fun way to add some spice to the bedroom or, for some, they’re a great way to improve intimacy and nurture a feeling of closeness.

It seems that strap-ons are often judged as being for one of two things: lesbian sex or pegging.

But the simple truth is that strap-ons can be used by anyone, in any kind of relationship, and for almost any penetrative purpose.

So whether you’re a lesbian couple looking for a new sex toy, someone who’s interested in pegging (either giving or receiving), or just someone who wants to spice up their sex life, then this guide is for you.

What Is a Strap-on?

A strap-on is a dildo that is worn by one partner. The partner will then use the strapped-on dildo to penetrate their other sexual partner.

This is a common device when it comes to penetrative lesbian sex. It enables one partner to penetrate the other, and it can allow them to perform many different sexual positions.

The strap-on can also be used in a female-male or male-male combination.

When a strap-on is used to penetrate a man, this is known as “pegging.” Pegging is the act of penetrating the anus of a male sexual partner with the use of a strap-on dildo.

How to Use a Strap-on?

Do you think that strap-ons are for lesbian use only? Or maybe you associate them with pegging? Either way, you’d be surprised to know that strap-ons have many uses.

The most common uses of strap-ons are for vaginal and anal penetration. This is true for both gay and straight couples.

If you think outside the box a bit, you can also think of a few other ways to use a strap-on. They can be used for oral penetration or as a tool for titty fucking. They can also be used in non-penetrative role play.

So however you want to use your strap-on, don’t feel as if you’re using it wrong.

The Different Types of Strap-ons

A strap-on is a strap-on, right? Not exactly.

There are actually many different types of strap-ons available, including these four below.

Harness Strap-ons

Perhaps the most classically known type of strap-on is the harness strap-on, such as the Lovehoney Advanced Strap-On Harness Kit.

Just as the name suggests, the harness strap-on is attached to the giving partner with a harness. The harness will often be placed around the hips, or even on the waist so that when the dildo rests, it is at the same height as a penis would be.

The great thing about harness strap-ons is they are versatile.

The majority of harness strap-ons are adjustable. This means they can fit people of all shapes and sizes.

The harness strap-on is also more likely than other types of strap-ons to come with an “O ring.” The O ring is what keeps the dildo in place, and it, too, is usually adjustable so that almost any size dildo can be used.

You also won’t need to buy a new dildo if you already have one that you prefer. A harness strap-on makes it possible to use just about any type of dildo, including suction cup, flared base, and even dildos with testicles.

For female users, the other benefit of harness strap-ons is the added inside pocket. The pocket is placed at the same height as the clitoris, so a bullet vibrator or other pleasure aid can be used by the giver. This will make the experience fun for both the giver and the receiver.

Built-in Strap-ons

Are you in the market for a dildo as well as a strap-on? Then a built-in strap-on may be up your alley.

A built-in strap-on is a strap-on device with a dildo already pre-attached. These are often more durable, which also means you can get a bit more creative with your sex positions without worrying about the dildo becoming unattached.

You can find a built-in strap-on of just about any configuration, including harnesses, corsets, and underwear. You simply have to strap-on, and you’re ready to go!

Strapless Strap-ons

Do you want to double the pleasure? A strapless strap-on, also known as a lesbian strap-on, is the way to go, such as Desire Luxury Strapless Strap-On Dildo Vibrator.

A strapless strap-on is a strap-on that somewhat resembles a double-sided dildo. On one side is the dildo, which will be used to penetrate the receiver. On the other side is an internal bulb, known as a “pony.”

The pony will be placed inside the vagina of the giver. The giving partner will then “ride the pony,” which will stimulate penetrative sex with the other side of the strap-on.

The strapless strap-on is not as intuitive as the harness or built-in strap-ons. If you’re new to strap-ons, then perhaps give one of the other types of strap-ons a try first. But if you’re ready for a challenge, then give the strapless strap-on a try.

This type of strap-on will require a lot of practice at first. So just keep trying, and you and your partner will eventually find your groove.

Hollow Strap-ons

While this one’s for the guys, it’s still a helpful addition to our guide.

A hollow strap-on is a strap-on that’s – surprise! – hollow. It’s made so that a man can slide his own penis inside, and then use the strap-ons dildo to penetrate his partner.

The hollow strap-on is great for fantasy play. It’s also a good way to add some variety (i.e., cocks of different lengths and girths) to the bedroom, such as Lovehoney Perfect Partner Hollow Strap-on 6 Inch.

A hollow strap-on can also be used by men with erectile dysfunction or impotence.

How to Find the Right Strap-on For You

With so many options to choose from, the decision can seem impossible.

If you’re just beginning, then I’d recommend a harness or a built-in strap-on. These can be easier to work with for newbies, and they’re a great introduction to the world of lesbian strap-ons.

You can find dozens of reviews online, such as this one from Tabooless or this one from Sex Toy Collective.

If you have a nearby sex shop, though, then I highly recommend you go there and take a look in-person.

While the thought of buying a strap-on in-store can be embarrassing, there are two things to remember:

  1. Sex is normal, natural, and healthy.
  2. Employees at a sex shop have seen lots of ‘strange’ things (relatively speaking), so buying a strap-on won’t even be on their radar.

A knowledgeable employee can walk you through the many overwhelming options, including type (harness or no harness, built-in or not?), material (nylon or latex?), and size. They can also make recommendations for you based on their own experience or the experiences gained from customers who’ve purchased from them.

And if you already own a strap-on but are having trouble with it, they may even be able to help you troubleshoot.

There is also another benefit to shopping locally. You can “try on” the strap-ons before you buy. This will give you a chance to buy one that’s the right fit for your body.

The truth is you may need to experiment with different options before you find one that both you and your partner love. Just be sure to enjoy the process.

How to Have Lesbian Strap-on Sex

You have the strap-on, the dildo, and a willing participant (or two!). So, now what?

Here are my fool-proof tips for first-timers and beginners looking to have a great time.

Take It Out For a Test Drive

If you’ve never used a strap-on before, then the odds of you being able to put it on and go on your first try are slim to none.

This is why it’s important that you test it out alone initially.

First, learn how to put on the device, so it becomes easy for you. After all, you don’t want to tell your very horny partner that she has to wait twenty minutes while you figure out how to put on this alien device.

This is also the time to make any adjustments you need, such as tightening or loosening belts and buckles, so it fits perfectly for you. It’s best to do this with the dildo on, as you may need to adjust the height of the base of the dildo.

If you’re using a harness strap-on, you should also try it out with different types of dildos. If you know that your partner has a favorite dildo, then give that one preference. But you should also experience the feel of other dildos prior to your sexual encounter.

Have Sex With Yourself

If you’ve never used a dildo before, now’s a great time to give it a try. How can you know what feels good, and what doesn’t, if you haven’t had the “pleasure” of trying it yourself?

So, detach the dildo from the strap-on (if possible), and experiment with yourself.

Apply some lube to the tip and shaft of the dildo, and slowly insert it into your vagina. This will be easiest (and most pleasurable) if you’re already turned on.

You should play around with the depth and intensity at which you use the dildo.

Once you’ve got a feel for the dildo, you can even try it with the strap-on attached. This will help you to gain an understanding of what your partner may feel, including whether there are any annoying straps or extra pieces of fabric.

It’s impossible to truly emulate the experience by yourself, but it’s better that you have a slight idea than none at all.

Practice Makes Perfect

Strap-ons are certainly something that can be a little difficult to master. It’s unlikely that you’ll be an expert at using it on the first try.

That’s why practice makes perfect. The more you incorporate the strap-on into your routine, the better you’ll get at using it.

The first few times, for example, you may only be able to do missionary or doggy style. But as you get used to the strap-on, you and your partner can get more adventurous.

And if it’s just not working for you, then consider using a different type of strap-on. As mentioned above, the built-in strap-on is probably the easiest one for beginners. But try different types, and even different brands, until you find the one that works for you and your partner.

Be Sure to Warm Up

My advice for lesbian partners is the same as my advice for heterosexual partners. You can’t just dive in with your partner and expect it to feel good from the go.

Women, in particular, need some time to warm up. This helps with the emotional aspects of sex and intimacy, but also the physical.

How can you prepare your partner for the strap-on?

It’s best to start as you usually would with some foreplay. You can then enter your partner’s vagina with your fingers, starting with one or two and increasing to three or four. This will get the juices flowing, which will help to lubricate the dildo during sex.

Once your partner is comfortable with the girth of your fingers, it’s time to introduce the dildo.

You may want to use the dildo while you’re not wearing it, as this will enable you to start more gently. Once she’s comfortable with the dildo, you can then wear the strap-on and continue from where you left off.

The pace will depend on your partner, including what she’s used to and what she’s comfortable with. Just be sure to take her lead and adjust as necessary.

Use Lots (and Lots!) of Lube

Lubricant is often touted as a ‘must-have’ when speaking about sex. Why? Because lubricant can make penetration much easier and much more enjoyable.

This is especially true when it comes to dildos, which are often made of silicone or other plastic. The material can sometimes ‘snag’ on the skin and lead to tugging or pulling. This could be unpleasant at best and painful at worst.

So how much lube should you use?

The golden rule of lubricant use during penetrative sex is that there’s never too much lube.

Before you begin, apply lubricant to the tip and shaft of the dildo. You can also put lubricant on your fingers and gently finger your partner so as to transfer the lube to her vaginal opening.

You may also want to add more lube to the dildo during your sexcapade. If it starts to become uncomfortable for your partner, or you notice that the dildo is starting to snag more easily, then go ahead and add some more.

Don’t Be Afraid to Receive

Are you usually the giver in your sexual relationship? Even if you prefer it that way, it’s good to mix it up every now and again.

Being on the receiving end can also give you some ideas for when you return to being the giver. Did your partner do something you particularly enjoyed? Did she wear it in a different way? This may help you to find ways to make it better for you and your partner the next time you wear the strap-on.

By mixing it up and becoming the receiver, you can also add another layer of intimacy to your relationship. The receiver is in a more vulnerable position. This may be uncomfortable at first, but it’s good for you (so you can open up more) and for your partner (as it may give them a greater deal of confidence).

Feel Free to Use Your Hands

If you’re new to penetrative sex with your partner, it may come as a surprise to you that your hands are suddenly free to do other things. After all, your hands used to do all of the work!

With a strap-on, you can let the dildo do its work while you use your hands to explore your partner’s body. Use them to tweak her nipples or clitoris, or to grab her tits and ass. You can even use your hands to play with your own genitals while you’re mid-penetration.

Are you and your partner into BDSM? Then use your hands during sex for some consensual BDSM. Use whips and rods, restraints, and even nipple clamps and other such “torture” devices.

The 6 Best Sex Positions for Lesbian Strap-ons

After you and your partner become comfortable with the strap-on, you’d be surprised at the number of positions you can try. In fact, there are more positions that are possible than those that are impossible.

And while the majority of sex positions can be performed with a strap-on, here are a few that are the easiest for beginners.

1. Missionary

If this is your first time using a strap-on for penetrative sex, why not start with an old classic?

In the missionary position, the receiver will lie on their back. They may want to prop their head and neck up with a pillow for comfort. The giver will then kneel in between their partner’s legs and line the dildo up with the receiver’s vaginal opening.

Once the dildo has been inserted, the giver can gently thrust into their partner. They can pick up the speed and tempo as their partner becomes accustomed.

This position is great for long, powerful thrusts but also for intimate kisses on the lips, face, and neck.

2. Doggy Style

This position is perhaps the easiest for beginners, as it only requires you to strap it on and go!

With the strap-on in place, the giver can either kneel on the bed or stand at the edge. The receiver will then get on all fours. The receiver may need to adjust the angle of their ass to line up their vaginal opening with the dildo.

Once everything is lined up, the giver can gently enter the receiver. You can then adjust your tempo and intensity to how the receiver likes it.

Pro tip: If you’re using a strap-on with a detachable dildo, then you can turn the dildo 180 degrees. When you’re having sex from behind, this will position the curve of the dildo downward so that you can effortlessly hit your partner’s g-spot.

3. Cowgirl

Do you want to give your partner some control? Then cowgirl is the perfect sex position!

In the cowgirl position, the giver will lie on their back. The receiver will then straddle her partner and position her vaginal opening over the dildo. When she’s ready, she can insert the dildo and then slide down the shaft.

With the cowgirl position, the receiving partner controls the speed, tempo, and depth of the dildo. This gives her the ultimate control.

This position also frees up your hands to do other things.

Hold your partner by the hips as she rides the strap-on to climax. Or explore her body – her face, her breasts, her ass.


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4. Reverse Cowgirl

For another position where your girl is in control, try reverse cowgirl.

To start, the giver will lie on their back. The receiver will then straddle the giver with her ass facing towards her partner.

The receiver will then adjust the dildo until it’s lined up with her vaginal opening. In this position, the receiver can ride the dildo similarly to if she was in a cowgirl position.

You can use this time as the giver to hold your partner’s hips and guide her down onto the dildo. You can also use your hands to smack her ass (if she’s into that).

5. The Facing Spoon

Are you looking for a more intimate position? A position that puts you face to face and body to body? Then try the facing spoon.

You may be familiar with the spoon position, where both partners lie on their sides with the receiver facing away from the giver. In the facing spoon, though, the giver and receiver face each other.

The giver will need to position themselves slightly lower than their partner, so the dildo lines up with the receiver’s vaginal opening. The giver can then gently insert it into her partner.

The facing spoon position isn’t one where speed or depth is achieved. It’s, however, a great position for a slow, intimate fuck.

In this position, either you or your partner can take control. You can slowly thrust, or she can grind.

The other benefit to this position is the ease with which both partners can access the other’s clit. While in this position, you can simultaneously massage each other’s clits for the ultimate in pleasure.

6. The Horny Mantis

With the ability to provide both deep penetration and face-to-face intimacy, the horny mantis position is excellent for a nice slow fuck session.

This position requires that the receiver lies on their back. The giver will then lean over the receiver with their legs spread straight out behind them. The receiver will bend her legs at the knee and wrap them around the giver.

The giver has complete control in this position, as they determine the depth and speed of their strokes. The receiver can also pull you in closer using her legs, though, if she’s looking for more depth and intensity.

Strap-on Troubleshooting

Are you having difficulty with your strap-on? Are you wondering whether strap-on sex just isn’t for you and your partner?

Let’s take a look at some common problems that are faced by those who use strap-ons. I’ll then offer some solutions that may help.

The Strap-on Keeps Unbuckling

It’s not uncommon that, the first few times you use your new strap-on, you’ll have some technical difficulties. And a common complaint among strap-on users is that the strap-on keeps unbuckling.

The likeliest reason for this is that the strap-on’s waistband isn’t the right size. It may be too big or, more likely, too small.

If possible, adjust the strap, so it fits your waist more comfortably. You should be able to fit one finger underneath the belt without any difficulty. If it’s too tight even at the longest length, then you should size up.

Remember that you also get what you pay for.

If you purchased a ‘cheap’ strap-on, then there’s a higher chance of issues with the quality. This especially includes the critical pieces, like the buckle.

The Dildo Keeps Unbuckling

If you’re using a strap-on without a built-in dildo, then you may be facing a common issue: an unbuckling dildo. This happens when the dildo comes detached from the strap-on’s base during use.

This may be an easy fix, in that the dildo may not be fully placed within the strap-on’s base.

But if this happens to you regularly, and if you’re in the market for a new strap-on/dildo combination anyway, then you may want to consider buying a strap-on with a built-in dildo.

Even with a built-in strap-on, it’s common for the dildo to be detachable. The difference between a built-in and an add-on dildo, though, is the fit.

A built-in strap-on will be sure to have a dildo that fits more snugly within the base of the strap-on. This means it’s much less likely to unbuckle during intercourse.

The Dildo Falls Out During Sex

Is there anything more frustrating than getting your partner to the brink of climax only to have the dildo fall out at the last minute? As frustrating as this is, it’s certainly an issue that many strap-on users face.

And just like with the first issue (strap-on unbuckling), it may be that the dildo is the wrong size.

While the majority of dildos come in a “standard” size, it’s possible, though, to have purchased a dildo that’s either too big or small.

While you might think that a dildo that falls out during sex is always too small, the opposite could actually be true. A dildo that is too big will not be able to penetrate your partner fully. Which means it won’t be as ‘secure’ in her vagina.

The easiest fix is to determine whether the dildo is either too big or too small and then purchase a dildo that’s the “right” size for your partner.

The Harness and Base of the Strap-on is Uncomfortable

The most common complaint of newbie strap-on wearers is the uncomfortableness of the strap-ons harness and/or base.

This is because the designers of lesbian strap-ons will often favor style over use.

There are plenty of strap-on styles that are designed for women. They’re usually overly lacy, and they tend to have a lower rise. And while these may look sexy, they can also be less functional.

When you’re looking to buy a strap-on, you should value function over fashion.

The fit of the base is the most crucial thing during intercourse. If the strap-on harness fits you well, including where it sits on your waist or hips, then that will go a long way in ensuring both you and your partner have a great time.

Conclusion

Are you ready to make your partner squeal with delight from penetration? Do you want to change the way you and your partner have sex forever? Do you want to try something new and exciting? Then you may want to give strap-ons a try.

Strap-ons are a great way to promote feelings of intimacy and sensuality in a relationship. This is especially true for couples who may not be able to have penetrative sex in the “usual” way.

And before you think, “but wait, aren’t strap-ons for…?”

Just remember that anyone in any type of relationship can enjoy giving or receiving with a strap-on.

So for homosexuals and heterosexuals alike, keep calm and strap-on!

Do you have questions about the information above? Do you have your own strap-on recommendations? Feel free to leave a question or comment down below.

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1 thought on “Lesbian Strap-On Dildos: The Ultimate Guide (& Best Sex Positions)”

  1. Strap-ons definitely took me a while to get use to, but i love using them now with my partner. Some great info here, given me some new ideas for positions try out.

    Reply

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