Having an orgasm is a rite of passage for all women. Whether it’s a solo experience or an experience shared with your partner, every one of you should be experiencing the Big O more times than not.
Of course, orgasms aren’t always the goal of every sexual encounter. In fact, we highly recommend spending time playing around with foreplay rather than jumping to the main event straight away.
It is also important to remember that not all women experience orgasms the same way. Some can find it incredibly difficult, while others can experience the Big O with as little as a whisper.
But, if an orgasm is your goal, you want it to be energizing, transportive, liberating, fulfilling, and undeniably pleasurable– right?
If it’s not then we’re here to help. Orgasms are not always as simple as mainstream cinematics make them seem. It can take many things to be able to experience one in the first place, and sometimes as little as a headache to block your orgasm from happening altogether.
Things like how exhausted you are, what time of the month it is, and whether or not you are turned on enough all play a huge part in your experience.
But don’t worry, we’re going to tell you how to beat the odds and achieve the orgasm-filled sex life you’ve always wanted. Whether you’re new to the world of orgasmic pleasure or your partner needs a little practice, there are a few things you and your partner can do to ensure you reach blissful release as often as you desire.
This ultimate guide to orgasmic tips for girls will detail everything you need to know about how to experience the toe-curling, mind-blowing orgasm we all dream of having.
We’ll walk you through the benefits of orgasms, tips for masturbating alone, the types of orgasms you can experience, and how your partner can help you have the best orgasms of your life.
We’ll also guide you through some of the best practices for reaching climax, and some of the best toys you can experiment with, among other helpful tips and tricks.
This guide will explain things like:
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What is a female orgasm?
Before getting into the nitty-gritty details of how to achieve climax, it helps to understand what an orgasm is.
“An orgasm is a physical reflex that occurs when muscles tighten during sexual arousal and then relax through a series of rhythmic contractions” says gynecologist Doctor Sherry Ross.
Each orgasm can feel different in terms of intensity and duration, depending on how and what part of the body is being aroused.
As well as being incredibly enjoyable, orgasms provide a satisfying physical and emotional release. This can help you feel closer to your partner, understand the needs of your body, or simply wind down after a tough day.
The benefits of female orgasms
As we like to say, orgasms are a rite of passage for every woman. They don’t just feel great – they are actually amazingly good for us too.
Female orgasms are great for things like:
- Stress relief
- The other health benefits (that are amazing)
- Learning what turns you on and what doesn’t
- Spicing up your sex life
- Increasing your sex drive
Now, let’s break that down!
Orgasms, like most stress-relief methods, are a great way to wind down after a busy or stressful day. They allow you to release yourself of any pent up physical or emotional strain whilst quieting the mind of your to-do lists and anything else that may be troubling you.
Reaching climax requires putting any stressful thoughts out of your mind. Your focus will be shifted away from the things that might be causing stress, and you will be able to fully relax into the pleasure that comes from orgasmic release.
One of the reasons for this is because an orgasm releases serotonin, the key ingredient to mood-lifting medication. This encourages the body and mind to calm down so you can relax and focus on what is important.
If sleep is something you regularly suffer with, studies have also shown that having an orgasm before you go to bed will release a cocktail of hormones, chemicals, and endorphins such as oxytocin, vasopressin, and serotonin. These are clinically proven to improve your sleep quality and help you get that well-needed slumber.
Sounds incredible right?
The other health benefits
Despite your climax lasting just a few seconds, the health benefits from having an orgasm last for a lot longer- in some cases even weeks! The chemicals and hormones that are released into the body after having an orgasm continue circulation even after you’ve moved on.
So, not only will you be feeling relaxed and ready to tackle whatever comes your way, your body will be benefiting too! Forget expensive skincare products!
The post-sex glow is a real thing, experts say. When we experience an orgasm, it increases blood flow around the body, causing blood vessels to open up.
This carries important nutrients like the hormone DEA to the skin, helping flush your body with fresh, nutrient-rich blood. After an orgasm, DEA levels are approximately five times the normal amount, giving you a youthful boost for free!
Some studies have even shown that the hormones produced by an orgasm help protect against heart disease and certain types of cancer. There are also studies that say an orgasm will help relieve migraine pain and strengthen your immune system.
Not only are orgasms amazingly pleasurable, they may even save your life.
Orgasms teach you what you like and don’t like
Every single person’s orgasm will be a different experience. What turns one person on might not work for another. By exploring your body alone, or with your partner, you form a greater understanding of how your body responds to pleasure.
And this experience can be incredibly fun! It can be daunting at first, but being the master of your orgasmic experience gives you control of how and when you orgasm. And believe us, once you start, you won’t be able to stop.
Knowing what turns you on is a good way to start. Then, try and practice different masturbation techniques and types of stimulation. Once you learn what you enjoy, you’ll be on track for the orgasm train in no time.
Spice up your sex life
Has your sex life taken a downward spiral? It can sometimes be trickier for women to reach climax than men. That’s why it’s important to know what works for you before you begin teaching your partner the wonderful ways your body reacts to pleasure.
Say goodbye to mediocre sex!
Knowing what you want and how you want it will help you have a healthy sex life and more of those toe-curling, life-changing orgasms.
There’s nothing sexier than having a mutually-orgasmic (and fun) sex life that has both you and your partner dripping for more. Mutual orgasm in the bedroom is an amazing way to get closer to your partner and increase your levels of intimacy.
It’s a win-win for everyone!
Orgasms will increase your sex drive
Studies show that the more regular your orgasms are, the stronger your sex drive will be. It’s no secret that for women, you need to be in the mood to reach climax. By regularly masturbating or engaging in sexual interaction, it is likely you will want to go back for seconds, and thirds, and maybe even more.
Having a regular, healthy, orgasmic sex life will turn your libido into a raging, orgasm-fiend.
You’ll never be the same again!
Best orgasm practices
As we’ve mentioned, for some people, reaching climax can be difficult. This stems from a number of third party influences that cause your mind to over-think and your confidence to seep away. And it sucks!
Thankfully, we have a few solutions for you.
More often than not, these influences that block you from your release can be combated with a couple of easy tricks.
Here are some of the important things you may need to consider if you are struggling in the bedroom:
- Closing your eyes
- Making some noise
- Is the timing right?
Let’s dive into these areas in more detail!
Close your eyes
If you’re shy about masturbation, worried about your partner seeing that oh-so-pleasurable face you make when you cum, or struggling to be present in the moment, it’s probably because your eyes are open.
When you shut out your surroundings, you’ll find it is easier to relax into every sensation, and you won’t be overthinking your partner’s reaction or worries about yourself. Closing your eyes can help take the pressure off you, and it really adds to the sexy experience.
If intimacy and closeness is what turns you on, than you might find that this doesn’t work for you. Eye contact with your partner might be exactly what you need to find your release.
Just play around with what works best for you.
Don’t be afraid to make some noise
Sound inhibition is the enemy of an orgasm. To make the most of your orgasm, you have to be entirely present. That means being fearless of the sounds you’ll inevitably make. Start small, playing with little gasps and moans.
If you feel it’s helping with arousal, continue to expand your repertoire, little by little. Allow yourself to have fun playing with your pleasure soundtrack until you’re riding that glorious orgasmic wave.
When we near climax, our breath tends to become short and restrained. By simply taking deep breaths, you will encourage your body to relax into the rich stimulation you are experiencing. This creates room for the orgasmic sensations to expand away from your vagina and travel to every inch of your body.
And what could be better than that?
Is the timing right?
When it comes to an orgasm, timing can mean the difference between nothing and everything. Unfortunately for most women, how turned on you are, where you are in your monthly cycle, and what time of the day can all play a crucial part in whether or not you’ll experience an orgasm.
Timing really is everything.
If you’re not in the mood because you are too hungry or you’re running late to an event, chances are, your orgasm won’t be either. Ensuring you’re relaxed and ready to rock and roll before you begin masturbating or engaging in sexual interaction with your partner is the key to helping you reach climax in the bedroom as often as you desire.
Before you get down and dirty wash away the day, get comfortable, and set the mood.
Masturbate so you can understand what you love
Alone. With your partner.
It doesn’t matter how you do it, masturbation is as natural as sleeping at night. Everyone does it, and everyone does it differently.
Do whatever you need to do to relax, and then get down to business.
Some women enjoy taking a warm bath; some women enjoy a glass or two of wine, while others might simply be able to jump into bed after a long day and get straight into pleasuring themselves.
When masturbating, it is important to pace yourself. For women, reaching the Big O can often be a marathon, not a sprint. Go for the slow build rather than using all of your tricks at once.
Pause. It is so easy to go straight in for the finale. Trust us, we know. But there is nothing wrong with a little stillness when you’re trying to reach climax.
Switch it up. Avoid staying in your usual getting-off patterns. Explore new parts, new areas, and new positions. Make it more than just your generic masturbation practices. Get creative with the entire experience, and have fun!
Relax your whole body. From your head to your toes, make sure your entire body stays relaxed throughout the experience.
As we approach climax, our instant reaction is to clench and tighten the body when the pressure builds. One of the best practices to have a mind-blowing orgasm is to relax the muscles. This allows the energy to flow through the entire body and makes for more of those earth-shattering orgasms.
How to do this?
One of the most popular masturbation techniques for women is applying pressure in small circular motions over the clitoris with your fingers. Combined, or partnered, with hitting the G-Spot, you’ll be climaxing in no time.
Learning how to masturbate solo is all about finding what you do and don’t like. You learn where feels the best, what doesn’t feel so good, and what areas will get you off in a matter of seconds.
And newsflash ladies- it doesn’t just have to be the clitoris. Some women experience pleasure in other areas of the body (which we will discuss shortly).
It’s just a matter of knowing what arouses you and what doesn’t. Knowing how you react to different sensations will help you be able to express these to your partner during sex.
You’ll be able to tell them things like:
- How fast they need to move their fingers
- How you like your nipples sucked
- Which sex toy you love and on which setting
- How hard the pressure of their fingers on your clitoris should be
Experiment with Toys
Masturbation and sex toys are like two peas in a pod. They are specifically designed to help you achieve an amazing orgasm while having fun in the process! They are kinky, and they let you explore your naughty, adventurous side, making masturbation and sex all the more exciting!
For anyone not fortunate enough to have had a vibrator dropped into your lap at an early age, dipping your toe into the extensive world of sex toys can be an overwhelming task. You’re not quite sure where to start, and you can’t exactly take your new toy out for a spin and return it if it doesn’t really hit the spot.
You, my friend, have come to the right place. Whether you’re looking for a gadget to upgrade your solo routine or you want to try something new with your partner, there’s a toy that’s sure to pique your interest.
So what toys do we recommend?
- G-Spot Vibrators
- Butt Plugs
- Dual tip vibrators
- Ben wa balls and kegel balls
- Couple vibrators
Combined with water-based lubricants, a good-quality sex toy can lead to some of the most intense orgasms you’ll ever experience.
The mind-blowing ways you can experience orgasms
Our favorite saying here at Love Nest, is ‘the more O’s, the merrier.’ An orgasm is an orgasm, and no matter how you experience them, it will feel incredible.
There’s nothing wrong with sticking to what you like. If the clitoris or G-Spot brings you to the brink every time, kudos to you.
But like your taste in food, variety really can be nice. You wouldn’t have the same dinner seven nights in a row, nor would you wear the same top every day for a month. Exploring the different ways the female body can experience orgasms can be a fun experiment you take solo or an adventure your partner and you depart on together!
Here’s a rundown of some of the most common types of female orgasms and how to try them:
Did you know that the clitoris’ sole function is to please you? Packed with more than 8,000 nerve endings, it is the fastest route to orgasm you will find in the bedroom.
Although the sensation of clitoral stimulation can be, at times, overwhelming and painful, you can adjust the pressure, motions, and speed until you get it just right. Often a light, circular touch from a finger, tongue, or sex toy directly on the clitoris will bring you over the edge.
But it doesn’t need to end there. While these orgasms are light and fun, a clitoral orgasm can help open you up to deeper pleasures you probably didn’t even know existed.
The G-Spot orgasm is precisely as it says, an orgasm that resonates in the G-Spot. However, the often coined ‘mythical G-Spot’ can sometimes be a little hard to find.
Located around 1-2 inches inside the vagina, the G-Spot can give you a deeper, more intimate orgasm. This is why they can be harder to experience – they require openness, trust, and a little sexual stamina.
The G-Spot orgasm spreads pleasure throughout your entire body, starting from inside the vagina. Women often have deep emotional releases accompanying these orgasms – tears, laughter, sadness, and a whole lot of love.
Most partners falsely believe that all orgasms start below the waist.
But, this isn’t true at all. A woman’s nipples have millions of nerve endings, each able to deliver a unique kind of pleasure to the mind and body.
By stimulating your nipples, you can reach climax in the same way you would if you were stimulating your clitoris or G-Spot. Not only are nipple orgasms incredibly fun, but they’re so different they’ll add a whole new level of spice to the bedroom.
Don’t forget the U-Spot
Although widely forgotten as a pleasurable way to reach orgasm, the U-Spot is incredibly sensitive for most women, and an easy way to experience an orgasm. The U-Spot is a small area of skin that sits under your clitoris and above the urethra.
U-spot stimulation can be experienced by using lubrication and your fingers, or with the use of a vibrator. These are just a few of the ways you can experience an orgasm.
But, thanks to a number of erogenous zones throughout the body that can provide immense levels of pleasure, women are also able to experience incredible orgasmic experiences from:
- Belly button
- Feet and toe stimulation
- Small of the back
- Back of the knees
- Lower abs (yes- coregasms are a real thing ladies!)
It really is a matter of knowing what you love and what turns you on.
What can your partner do to help you achieve orgasm?
Once you have mastered the art of masturbation, it’s time to bring in a helping hand (or two). Sex with your partner can be one of the most liberating, intense, and pleasurable experiences of your life. When you are comfortable with the person enough to test out their adventurous side, it can also be incredibly enlightening and enjoyable.
Getting down and dirty with your partner can be incredible. And once you learn what the other person likes, the orgasms can be taken to new heights you would never have dreamed of.
Before you begin to experiment with ways to make each other cum, there are a few little things you might need to consider first:
Foreplay and teasing
What you do before having sex is just as important as your actual technique. This is because, for most women, sex is about more than just physical stimulation. It is about closeness, fulfillment, pleasure, and trust.
For every couple, foreplay looks different.This is why it’s important to have a conversation about what you like and don’t like, and help guide each other to the areas that you enjoy when engaging in intercourse and foreplay.
Some women love oral sex, while others like using their hands and fingers in magical ways. Dress-ups, roll-play, and toys are also other ways women enjoy turning themselves and their partners on, and this is the perfect way to get you in the mood and well on your way to a mind-blowing, orgasm sex life.
Trust, intimacy and vulnerability
One of the golden rules of sexual intercourse is that a women will likely never be able to orgasm with another person if she doesn’t feel intimate with them.
Trust and intimacy are vital when it comes to reaching climax. An orgasm is a way of showing that you are comfortable, relaxed, and okay with rendering yourself vulnerable to them.
If you don’t feel comfortable or trusting of your partner, chances are you will struggle to reach climax. So, it’s important to build up your relationship first, then engage in intercourse.
Types of orgasms you can experience with your partner
Remember those tips, tricks, and orgasm types we mentioned earlier? Your partner can do every single one of them to help you reach climax. In fact, we highly recommend you experiment with everything we suggested!
Mutual masturbation, toys, exploring different ways of making you orgasm; we recommend it all. But, there are also other ways you can experience incredible orgasms that aren’t quite as easy when you’re flying solo in the bedroom.
- Oral Sex
- Anal Sex
- Squirting orgasms
- Multiple orgasms
Let’s take a look at those in more detail!
So, you want to try oral sex with your partner? Awesome! For some women, this is one of the best feelings in the world. No disrespect to regular intercourse, but penetration is not the easiest route to orgasm for most women.
What move is more likely to lead to an amazing O? Oral sex – receiving it, that is. It’s no surprise that direct clitoral stimulation offers a whole world of pleasure.
Remember those 8,000 nerve endings situated around your clitoris? When stimulated by the gentle (or maybe a little rough- we don’t judge) mouth of your partner, oral sex can be immensely pleasurable and intimate.
There are a lot of different ways you and your partner can explore oral sex, and they can involve:
Practice certainly makes perfect when it comes to oral sex. Be patient, and don’t be afraid to try again and again until you get it right.
Anal Sex Orgasms
Anal sex orgasms don’t vary too much from normal orgasms, but they can be a unique and pleasurable experience for both you and your partner. An anal orgasm is exactly what it sounds like- an orgasm that’s achieved through anal stimulation.
For most women, an anal orgasm comes from stimulation around the A-Spot, a spot deep inside the vagina filled with erotically charged nerve endings that can turn you on very, very fast.
Some women don’t like the idea of receiving anal, so it’s totally okay to say no to the idea if it makes you uncomfortable. However, trying new things is a beneficial way to lead your sex life. As the saying goes, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
Although spontaneity is always good in the bedroom, when it comes to anal sex and trying to enjoy an anal orgasm, a little preparation can help make the experience better for both the receiver and the giver.
By slowly experimenting with a finger or two, before working your way up to penis-penetration and toys, it can work wonders on the rest of your body and your other erogenous zones. Paired with other forms of sexual stimulation, you might find the experience to be immensely enjoyable and add it to your regular sex repertoire.
Love Nest started out of the desire to teach men and women about how awesome squirting is. Imagine if a guy had an orgasm but didn’t ejaculate? It wouldn’t be as good, would it?
Well, it’s no different for women. And that’s why we want you to learn exactly how to have a squirting orgasm.
The easiest way to have a squirting orgasm is with your fingers. This way you’ll be able to hit the G-Spot in just the right way to give yourself one the most intense and dripping wet orgasms of your life.
How to achieve multiple orgasms
“The average woman is built to come again and again,” says Doctor Rachel Carlton Abrams, co-author of The Multi-Orgasmic Woman. This means that once you reach your climax, the next climax is absolutely accessible.
“Women can stay aroused for longer and have an orgasm a second and third time with little effort,” says Dr. Abrams.
When most people think of the term ‘multiple orgasms’ they think of several orgasms performed one after the other. So why, then, are so many women stopping at just one orgasm?
The answer, women and their partners are often approaching multiple orgasms as if they are a sequence of events: Orgasm, orgasm, orgasm
But this isn’t the correct way to have a multiple orgasm.
It should look more like this:
Multiple orgasms are a rapid sequence of orgasms that occur one after the other without interval. Having multiple orgasms require knowing exactly when you are near the brink of climax.
One of the tricks to multiple orgasms is that once you are near orgasm, slow down, and slightly pull back. As you start to come back down, try to speed back up again until you are close again. Then, gently pull yourself back down again. Do this several times until you are just about ready to explode.
Each time you come back down, your sexual energy stores itself, ready to be released in one mega, life-changing orgasm. As you can probably imagine, this technique will create one of the most powerful orgasms you will ever experience.
And if you do it right, it will be overwhelming, exhausting, and blissful. But trust us, you will never forget it.
If you’re ready to take your orgasm game to the next level, then it is time to spice things up a little.
Going ‘50 Shades of Grey’ in the bedroom can seem a little intimidating at the start.
If you’ve never used toys or props, you might even find yourself a little shy.
But, experimenting with different ways of arousal is the perfect way to spice up your sex life, ensure you are dripping wet with desire, and help you have an orgasm that totally rocks your world.
We’ve already spoken about the benefits of toys in your sex life, but there are a few other items you can use in the bedroom that will spice up your sex life and turn you on so much you’ll be dripping for more.
Accessories like handcuffs, blindfolds, and dice can make sex super sexy.
Here are some popular options:
- Get kinky with food
- Sex dice
Handcuffs are one of the great sex props of the 21st century that will make your sex life just that little more interesting. There is little that is more exciting to a woman than being handcuffed to the bed post while her partner pleases her in every way possible.
When using cuffs, aim for fabric or leather cuffs that fasten with a buckle. These will be soft and painless when your partner ties your hands behind your back or to the bed posts.
Once your in position, your partner will begin the fun. Intense stimulation by foreplay, oral sex, penis-penetration, and anal sex are all excellent ways to make the most of using cuffs.
They will send your sexual arousal through the roof. Don’t forget to return the favor and use them on your partner to enjoy the feeling of utter domination.
When it comes to sex, pain sometimes means pleasure. Getting spanked might be one of the things that sends your arousal levels to exciting new heights. When you’re aroused and feeling hot and heavy with your partner, your orgasm will be incredible.
Play around with food
Melted chocolate. Whipped cream. Whatever tickles your fancy, why not introduce some deliciously kinky items into your foreplay?
One of the best ways to use whipped cream or melted chocolate is to smother it onto your nipples and inner thighs and ask your partner to lick it off you as slowly as they can. In doing so, you’re bound to melt into one of the best orgasms of your life.
If you’re looking for the sexiest stimulation ever, blindfolds are the way to go. There’s nothing sexier than not knowing where your partner is going to touch you next. Without sight, your other senses will be working overtime.
Every whisper will feel more sexual, every touch will feel exquisite. Your sense of space and time will dull with the darkness, and you’ll be able to enjoy every moment like it’s the best moment of your life.
What to do after an orgasm?
Post-orgasm is the perfect time to bond with your partner. After you both finish orgasming, you’ll both more than likely feel vulnerable, exhausted, relaxed, sensitive and still aroused.
Now is the time to kiss, cuddle, smile, laugh, and talk about how amazing your orgasm was! And if you can handle it, why not try for another orgasm again?
Every orgasm is different. Whilst your orgasms might be shorter than your girlfriends, softer than your sisters, and can only be achieve with certain techniques, your orgasms are just as unique as you are.
Importantly, if you are someone having a hard time achieving orgasm, remember that it isn’t necessary for a fulfilling sexual experience.
Sure, they are an excellent release. But any kind of sexual pleasure, orgasmic or not, may help you find the release you are after.
Remember that practice makes perfect- and to enjoy every second of it!