If you’re looking to learn about how to harness the awesome power of tantric sex, this mega-guide is going to teach you everything you need to know.
It doesn’t matter if you’re already a seasoned practitioner, or if you’re a complete beginner, we have every single area of tantric sex covered.
If you’re a beginner, I recommend you read the entire guide. You’ll know everything from the origination of tantric sex, how to achieve a mind-blowing tantric orgasm, and how to enjoy this wonderful moment with a sexual partner.
If you’re a seasoned practitioner, then simply use the Table of Contents to find the areas that you’d like to learn more about.
As you’ll learn throughout this guide, being able to connect with your partner intimately will do wonders for your sex life – and tantric sex has been around 5,000 years. It really has stood the test of time.
While we typically teach men how to get their partners to achieve squirting orgasms through Squirt Triggers, connectedness and intimacy is equally as important to have a fantastic sex life.
Actually, it was a reader’s email that inspired me to write this post. He and his partner have had an excellent experience with tantric sex, and through combining the content in Squirting Triggers, they have had multiple squirting orgasms. I’ll share that with you at the end of the guide, so read on!
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A Quick Word from Laura and Axel
Hey guys, Laura here! Just a quick one before we begin this mega-guide on tantric sex.
I’ll admit, while Axel and I have helped millions of couples achieve squirting orgasms in the Squirting Triggers course, we were only introduced to tantric sex about three years ago.
At first, Axel and I didn’t think our sex life could improve. We didn’t really bother to try it. However, after a trip to India, we decided to pull out some of the books we had on tantra and start practicing some of the techniques.
I can safely say that tantric sex gave the two of us a lot more intimacy. We were so used to having hot, wild, and filthy sex, being able to practice something more spiritual definitely brought us closer together.
Anyway, let us know in the comments your thoughts on tantric sex – do you plan to try it with your partner? We’re both really looking forward to hearing from you.
Enjoy the guide!
What Is Tantric Sex?
Tantric sex is an ancient Indian meditative sexual practice that is said to have been practiced over 5,000 years ago. It was derived from the Sanskrit word (Sanskrit is an ancient Hindu language) ‘tantra,’ which means “woven together.” It is said to promote sexuality, spirituality, and emotional interconnectedness.
An interest in tantra has been growing in the West, and many deem it “sacred sexuality” or “spiritual sex”. For many modern tantric sex practitioners, they believe sex should be seen as a sacred act that can transcend one into a higher spiritual plane.
Some say that it embodies the metaphor of weaving not only man and woman through the physical body but also weaving human to the divine. Tantra allows couples to connect with the so-called god-state.
What Does It Involve?
Tantra involves a broad spectrum of sexual activities. Unlike most sex techniques, tantric sex is not just about penetrative sex or stimulating erogenous zones.
Tantric sex is more focussed on the movement of energy between two sexual partners. It embraces slow, gentle movements and getting fully present within the moment. It can sometimes involve almost no movement.
The focus is on a connection to the divine through a meditative state. The techniques practiced within tantra can involve lovemaking sessions that last for hours.
One example of prolonging lovemaking through tantric sex would be practicing a technique known as edging – which is when a man takes his orgasm to the “edge.” Just before ejaculating, he backs off. This improves his ability to last for longer and allow the lovemaking to build up into a more powerful orgasm.
On the contrary, tantra can also involve the more raw, animalistic style sex we all love. It is all about bringing mindfulness and awareness to the sexual energy we experience.
Tantra also involves a lot of breathwork. This allows the practitioner to experience pleasure throughout the entire body and not just the genitals.
Neotantra vs. Classical Tantra
Typically, when Westerners refer to tantric sex, they are referring to something more accurately described as “neotantra.” Neotantra is a Western variation of classical tantra and often involves many unorthodox practices. This wave of neotantra, spreading across the West, has attempted to change Western attitudes toward sex.
According to a book written by Hugh B. Urban, tantric sex has been viewed as a “cult of ecstasy,” allowing its participants to reach a higher spiritual plane. Urban also says that neotantra isn’t necessarily “wrong” or “false,” but “simply an interpretation for a specific historical situation.”
The body of teachings in neotantra has been inspired by the core teachings of classical tantra – however, much of these neotantra teachings are not the same ancient practices taught in classical tantra.
That being said, neotantra is still a meaningful, valuable practice that can deepen a connection to one’s body, heal trauma, and open the practitioner to deep states of meditative orgasm.
Classical Tantra, on the other hand, aims to give practitioners a full spiritual awakening – otherwise known as enlightenment. It is a much more rigorous spiritual path. Classical tantra is not exclusively focussed on sex.
Classical tantra involves serious study, meditative practices, yoga, and the use of mantras and visualizations. Sexual energy was reserved for advanced students only.
What is a tantric orgasm?
Rumors have it that tantric sex can cause a 9-hour orgasm. First and foremost, an orgasm doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual. Orgasm refers to a sudden release of energy. This can be sexual or asexual. That being said, extended orgasm is definitely a thing.
Tantric orgasms could be described as a release of pressure that builds and builds and builds. You may not climax for a long time, but a tantric orgasm involves riding the waves of orgasmic pleasure.
Being able to hold off climaxing relates to the concept of channeling your sexual energy throughout your body. Being able to do this through tantric sex means you can build intense energy and intimacy with your sexual partner. Being able to harness this sexual energy is thought to decrease stress and increase serotonin levels. Tantric orgasm could be seen as a very healthy practice.
Some say that once you have mastered this technique, you are able to achieve multiple orgasms easier. The orgasmic – almost euphoric state – is said to last for long periods of time. Some may find this exhausting, whereas others are extremely interested in this phenomenon.
The Purpose of Tantric Sex
Sex can sometimes get mundane. When we get stuck into a routine or certain habits are formed around sex, it can become almost routine like.
Tantric sex is about starting from ground zero. It’s about becoming a “beginner” in sexual practices once again – and making sex more about intimacy, rather than simply rubbing genitals to achieve an orgasm. All of a sudden, tantra opens many new possibilities and things to discover through sex.
It is also about experiencing deeper and prolonged orgasms. In men, these orgasms are often non-ejaculatory, and through effective tantric practices, men are able to experience full-body climaxes. In women, tantric sex can cause multiple orgasms and allow them to come into a state of oneness.
Some spiritual teachers say that orgasm can be a form of a spiritual awakening because, for a brief moment, the ego dies, and we catch a glimpse of divinity. Many people use tantric sex as a deeply spiritual practice.
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I’m ready to try it
OK – you’re interested. You’re ready to try tantric sex. We’re now going to spend the rest of this mega-guide talking about the practicalities of how you can start performing it, both with a partner and alone.
The first section will be about preparation, and the second section will be about the sexual techniques you can engage in. Both are equally important.
Part 1 – Preparation
Prepare Your Mind
Preparing your mind will help you ease into your tantric practices. In tantric sex, your mind is equally as important as your body. Sounds esoteric – but you need to prepare your mind so you can further connect with your body and your soul. Having a clear, open mind and being ready to step outside of your comfort zone will make your practice much more enjoyable.
We recommend you and your partner spend at least 10-15 minutes quietening the mind and getting into the zone together. You could try:
- Light yoga and stretching – stretch the body from head to toe, and each time you stretch a body part, allow a release of energy. Bring your awareness to each part of the body and allow yourself to let go of negative thoughts.
- Breathwork – a 10-minute guided meditation before engaging in tantric sex can help calm your mind and relieve stress. It will also bring you into the present moment.
- A hot shower or bath – taking a hot shower or a soothing, hot bath with your partner can really help set the mood for what’s to come. This will allow a slow build-up before engaging in tantric sex.
Prepare Your Space
To perform tantric sex, it’s important to have a space dedicated to this practice – where you and your partner feel totally comfortable and relaxed. You want it to be a private place where you won’t be interrupted.
We recommend making sure that this space only has items that relate to your lovemaking. That means getting rid of the computer and the phone and making this your “sacred” place.
You can also add some additional items to make the space more comfortable. For example, certain artwork, furniture, and lighting can all help set the mood to inspire you both to become present and settle into the moment.
We recommend you perform eye gazing before you engage in sex. You sit up straight in your sacred place, facing your partner, and then hold eye contact. To add extra intimacy, you could also hold hands. You can look from the left eye to the right eye, or alternatively gaze at both eyes.
You should feel the energy and sacredness of this moment together during eye gazing. At first, it might be slightly uncomfortable, but over time it should get easier.
Another great step to preparing for tantric sex is to synchronize your breathing with each other. This is a great exercise to combine with eye gazing. Simply sit opposite each other, take a number of deep breaths, and get a feel for your partner’s breathing pattern. Start by first matching the breaths, and do this for around 5 minutes.
After 5 minutes, you can switch the synchronicities by alternating breaths. When one partner breathes in, the other should breathe out and vice-versa. Axel and I like to practice this for a further 5 minutes.
Express Your Body
After you have completed the previous four steps, you can start to express your physical body to your partner. Begin by removing your clothing in the presence of each other. At this point, the submissive partner should sit in her partner’s lap, and they can be caressed, massaged, and held.
Movements should be slow, deliberate, and intentive. Practice this for as long as you desire. Axel and I typically do it for around 10 minutes.
Part 2 – Tantric Sex Techniques
Remember, tantra isn’t just about sex – it’s also about the build-up. You and your partner could implement the previous steps and engage in any type of sex afterward. All the practices have value in themselves.
However, we are now going to share some of our favorite techniques and practices.
Foreplay can involve whatever you want it to involve. However, don’t forget that participating in tantric sex means you can adopt a “beginner’s mindset” again. You could have a bath or a shower together, engage in oral sex, or some kind of mutual masturbation. If you’re used to a particular type of foreplay, try to change things up to something you don’t usually do.
The important thing, during foreplay, is to be deliberate and focus on all the physical sensations within the body. You should take your time. Tantric foreplay shouldn’t be about rushing into intercourse to achieve an orgasm – it should be more of a sensual and sexual play.
Sexual Intercourse Positions
Remember – engaging in sexual intercourse is entirely up to you as the tantric sex practitioner. If you choose to have sex, again, go slowly and focus on the sensations. Immerse yourself fully into the moment and allow the tension to build up over time without releasing it at your first opportunity.
Many people decide to look to Kama Sutra for inspiration – which is an ancient Indian text, written to educate men on having a good marriage.
One of mine and Axel’s favorite positions for tantric sex is “the merger.” The man sits on the floor or the bed with his legs out in front of him, leaning back on his hands, while the woman spreads her legs over the top of his lap with her hands backward. This allows for a very controlled penetration and leaves room for lots of caressing, touching, and kissing.
Another one of our favorites is known as the lap dance. You’ll need a sturdy chair and plenty of space. We typically do it next to a wall. The man sits on the chair, and the lady gets on top and puts her legs over the man’s shoulders. She then has her hands on his thighs. This brings you very close to your partner.
An important practice in tantra is eye or soul gazing. Many people have their eyes closed during sex. This can prevent intimacy and connection.
Eye contact allows you to observe the acts of love that are taking place when you are having tantric sex. Keeping your eyes open means you can focus on your partner, rather than focussing on your own sensations.
A tantric sex guide wouldn’t be complete without a crucial element – massage. This is a time where you can express love to your partner through gentle touches. You can treat this massage as an art form that brings you closer together. During a tantric massage, one partner gets to lie back and enjoy the pleasure.
One form of massage, known as yoni massage is where the focus is on touching the woman’s vagina. “Yoni” is a Sanskrit word for “sacred space” – and the vagina is viewed with respect. There is also “lingnam” massage, which is a tantric massage for penises.
Take it in turns to indulge in massage with each other, and as usual, enjoy the build-up. Remember, it is about the journey of pleasure.
Reader’s Email about Tantric Sex
Hey Laura and Axel!
I hope you’re both well!
I just wanted to say thanks for your Squirting Triggers course – really enjoyed it.
I have yet to see you write about tantric sex, so I just wanted to share my experience with you. It has really helped me and my wife gain more intimacy, and she has been able to squirt much more easily since we engaged in this more deliberate sexual practice.
What we do now, before following the tips in your guide, is spend at least an hour building up to the squirting session.
We basically made our bedroom into a sex haven. I got rid of my work laptop, the TV, and we made it a place only for sex and sleep. I got some dimmable lights and some incense burners.
What we typically do now, before a good squirting session, is have a bath together and engage in some tantric massage. Basically, she massages me for 10 minutes, and I massage her while we are both submerged in water.
We then get out of the bath – she dries me off, and I dry her off. We spend a lot of time enjoying the sensations and getting present in the moment.
We then sit on the bed and then match the synchronicities in our breath. This really relaxes my wife, and her squirting orgasms have been much easier to achieve. It’s been a great thing to combine with the techniques in your course.
Anyway, I think it would be really cool if you write a guide on tantric sex – maybe some of the ladies who have purchased Squirting Triggers who have yet to squirt with their partners could benefit from this ancient practice, just like my wife and I did!
To summarise, tantra is an ancient practice and has been practiced for thousands of years. This practice isn’t just about penetration and orgasm – but more about experiencing pleasure through a slow build-up.
Engaging in tantric sex should involve a slow build-up that could last anything from 30 minutes, upwards of multiple hours. The goal should be to prolong the pleasure, rather than to reach a climax.
And, as Michael mentioned, it can be an excellent way to relax into a squirting orgasm, as he and his wife learned. You can learn more about our Squirting Triggers course by clicking here.